


Mea Culpa

by BitchScaresMe



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-07 17:45:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19474183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BitchScaresMe/pseuds/BitchScaresMe
Summary: The youngest Earp sister hadn’t been able to find a peaceful night’s sleep since the incident. Not just the death scare but the events that transpired within the waters of the Hot Tub of Acrimony™.





	Mea Culpa

Waverly Earp’s slight-but-mighty frame was perfectly positioned within the arms of recovering Deputy Nicole Haught; proving that despite it all, at least their bodies were still a perfect fit. Soft, strong arms pulled the youngest Earp sister closer every few breaths, something she remained acutely aware of even through the haze of slumber. It was their first night sleeping at Nicole’s house since the redhead had been released from the hospital. The oval table that once took residence in the center of Nicole’s living room had been replaced with a slightly taller, more rectangular piece. Calamity Jane in all her fiery glory snored softly at the foot of the bed. The bite wound on the deputy’s forearm had closed – the stitches well on their way to dissolving. Everything had been replaced or fixed in the aftermath of the Widow’s near-fatal assault on the law woman. Well…almost everything.

The youngest Earp hadn’t been able to find a peaceful night’s sleep since the incident. Not just the death scare but events that transpired within the waters of the Hot Tub of Acrimony. She would fall to the shallow layer beneath consciousness and wade through the murky waters of secrecy. Keeping secrets had never been her strong suit. Waverly Earp kept secrets about as well as Wynonna kept a boyfriend. And so, her eyelids twitched and fluttered like the time-defying wings of a hummingbird. Images and sounds swept through her mind’s eye like a storybook. The pounding of her thumbs on the cellphone’s keyboard, the sounds of water splashing behind her as she impulsively moved to kiss Rosita, the percussive thumping of her heart as she’d realized her own mistake.

_“I’m with…”_

“Nicole!”

As Nicole’s name slipped off her tongue and filled the silence of the bedroom, Waverly forced herself back into consciousness. Her body went rigid in the taller woman’s arms, unable to stop the trembling of her bones. Rosita was a good friend, yes, but the thought of kissing her filled Waverly’s bones with ice instead of marrow. Seconds later, Nicole too was roused by her own summoning. Panic flooded the deputy’s system. This wasn’t the first-time Waverly had called her name out in the middle of the night. It had happened almost every night they’d spent together since she was released. Nicole did what she had always done, and pulled Waverly even closer, pressing her lips against the smaller woman’s cheek. This had been their routine for the past five nights in a row. At Waverly’s, a light would flicker on in the hallway outside her bedroom, Wynonna instinctively feeling Waverly’s pain. Here at Nicole’s, it was just them and Calamity Jane.

And oh, the guilt.

“Waves, baby, I’m here. I’m okay. We’re safe. I’ve got you.”

Darkness and guilt have one thing in common; they can swallow you whole.

Waverly sucked in a gulp of air, suddenly feeling oppressed by her own actions, Nicole’s love, and the still of the night. The dichotomy of guilt and shame is that, while you want so desperately to be forgiven, you know you don’t deserve it. Kindness becomes an unknowing weapon. Red hot tears pushed themselves up from behind Waverly’s eyes and she jumped from Nicole’s arms to the side of the bed. The brunette sat up, and planted her feet firmly on the hardwood floors, the cool surface sending more shivers up her spine. Her hands gripped the sheets, seeking stability in the maelstrom of self-inflicted pain.

Nicole quickly followed suit, resting her hand on Waverly’s trembling shoulder.

“Baby, what’s wrong? I’ll keep you safe, I promise.”

“No. Nicole. It’s not…” Waverly trailed off, hearing the edge in her voice.

“I’m sorry,” Nicole murmured, taking her hand from Waverly’s shoulder and resting it in her own lap. “Is this about Shay?”

Waverly scoffed. “No, of course not. I know why you didn’t tell me now.”

“Then what is it? Tell me what to do, Waves. Please.”

“You can’t do anything, Nicole.”

Nicole inhaled deeply in attempt to combat how deflated those words had made her. Everything she’d done in the past several months, she’d done to protect Waverly. Whether her choices had been right or wrong – they had been done with her protection in mind. To give Waverly a sense of peace, solace, in the midst of the chaos had been all she’d ever wanted to do.

Waverly continued, “It’s not you.”

“Oh, no. I’ve heard that before. I’ve _said_ that before.” A weak attempt at humor.

Waverly didn’t laugh, didn’t even chuckle. In the dark, Nicole knew Waverly was biting her lip to stop herself from crying.

“Nicole, I…”

“Sssshhh, baby. Whatever it is, it’s okay. We’re safe now.”

No one was ever truly safe in Purgatory, but Nicole was hanging on to hope that they were safe. At least for tonight.   
Waverly Earp couldn’t take the kindness any longer. As the nicest person in Purgatory, Nicole’s mostly unwavering purity was almost unbearable. When remorse turns love’s roses to bullets – there is no turning back. As an Earp, rather, someone who grew up with the Earps, Waverly was no stranger to the kind of guilt that plagued bloodlines, ended lives, and stood the test of time. This guilt was worse than any Revenant – she wasn’t sure she could make her peace.

“Nicole?”

“Yeah, babe?”

Waverly turned her body to face Nicole, reaching out, search for Nicole’s fingertips in the dark.

“I kissed Rosita.”

“You what now?” Nicole laughed nervously. “But you just met a few weeks ago…”

“I know.”

Nicole swallowed down the realization. “When?”

“The night before you were attacked. I was drunk and we were fighting and…”

Nicole gently pushed Waverly’s hand away – still too tender for her own good. The deputy stood up, and backed away from the bed.

“The night you sent me that text?”

“Yes. I’m so sorry, Nicole.”

Waverly used what strength she had to push herself up off the bed, following Nicole through the darkness of her bedroom. Waverly reached out once more. Nicole stepped to the side. “I’m sorry. I love you.”

Nicole shook her head, turning around to flip the light switch on the wall. The lights flashed on, a stark contrast to the slow flickering Waverly had grown accustomed to at the ranch. Waverly’s face was stunningly beautiful, even as the unmistakable redness of desperation painted the apples of her cheeks and the whites of her eyes. Nicole too, had small rivulets of salt water slowly forming on her face, the moisture catching the light each time she moved.

“I’ve seen a lot since I moved to Purgatory. But I never saw this coming.”

After only a moment’s hesitation, Nicole step towards her dresser and grabbed the keys to her patrol car.

“Where are you going?” Waverly asked, her voice shaking.

“I don’t know.”

“Please don’t go,” Waverly pleaded.

“I’m going. Stay here.”

“But Nicole, this is your house!”

“That’s okay. Sleep here if you need to.”

“I don’t want you to go. Nicole, stop. I love you.”

Nicole closed her eyes and turned on her heel. The redhead bowed her head, took a breath, and walked out of her bedroom.

“Don’t follow me.”

Calamity Jane jumped off the bed to follow Nicole, leaving Waverly alone in the harsh, white light of truth.


End file.
